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David Tennant as Walt in Camping – Episode 3.1


– How was your shower, my sweetheart? – I didn’t even shower. It was all a ruse so that Nina-Joy and I could
have a reckoning. – A reckoning? – A reckoning. That’s what they call it on “The Real Housewives
of Auckland” when two women need to face down
their problems. And that’s what I was gonna do, until that
horrible woman showed up, took her top off, and started spewing bullcrap. – Try not to be too harsh on Jandice. I, you know, it’s, it’s gotta be pretty hard trying to fit into our little den of thieves here. – We don’t know anything about her, yet you’re
always making excuses for her bizarre behavior. Pretty curious, Walter. – I’m not, I’m not making excuses at all.
I just think she means well. She has a good heart. Miguel wouldn’t love her otherwise. – Love her? I mean, he’s known her three weeks. That’s not love. That’s not even lust. That’s obsession. Obsession never ends without one body six
feet down. – Ahoy, there, Captain. Permission to come aboard, sir? – Permission granted. You’re the first mate, after all, so. – Oh, thank you. – Holy shit! Look at all this gear. – Yeah. – Yeah. This is a very professional layout, Walt. – Well, fishing has always been a passion
of mine. – Well, I’ve never actually fished before,
but I’m passionate about the idea of fishing. Oh, yeah, yeah. I’m passionate about new things, my man. New things are the latest thing. Like eating ass. – Hoho. – I eat ass now. – Oh, brother, welcome to the dark side. – I don’t eat ass. – What kind of fish they got in this here lake? – Ah, we got trout, um, bluegill, crappie, sunfish. – Great. – Uh, some trout. – Look at these dummies. – Some freshwater fish. – All right! -Ah, here he is! – Hey. – Good morning, Mr. Bond. – What? – Your sunglasses, man. – Oh, yeah! Remember “Goldfinger,” guys? “My name is Pussy Galore.” – “You expect me to talk?” – “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.” – Oh, I see. Yeah, it’s funny ’cause it has “pussy”
in it. I get it. – We should probably get going. Westward ho! – Hey, Walt, is there a, is there a cooler
with beer in it? – Aw, dang it. No. I left that back at the site. I tend to leave the booze for evening pleasure. – Well, I’m really enjoying this, uh, flavored
sparkling water. It’s nice and crisp and refreshing. – I bet they are. I’ll have a Coke. Shaken, not stirred, right? – What? – Shake, shaken, not… James Bond. – James Bond doesn’t drink Coke. – He drinks martinis. – No, yeah, I-
– Ah! There’s the confusion. – I know, no, no, no. I know what he drank. – You know what? Maybe we should just stop
with the James Bond references altogether. It’s getting kind of confusing who knows what
lines, right? – Oh, OK. – Just has so many different movies and so
many incarnations of Bond, I mean Timothy Dalton, Sean Connery,
Roger Moore…. Confusing. Let’s drop it. – Wow. Mmm! These are some pretty damn good cookies, I
must say. – Mmm. – Mmhmm. – Kathryn baked them for my birthday. Chocolate chip’s the best. – Whoo, the tops. Nothing better, baby. – You know what’s the worst? Oatmeal raisin. – Oh, you’re right! It’s the goddamn worst. – No, no, no, no, no, they just start out wrong. You know? Oatmeal? Fucking oatmeal? Who wants oatmeal in a cookie?
I barely want oatmeal in my oatmeal! – Yeah, and those raisins, they sneak up on
you, man. They’re just pretending to be chocolate chips. They’re totally unexpected. Thanks for nothing, raisins. – Oh, this is happening. – Oh my God. – Yes.
– You got one? – Oh my God! I got the net, I got the net!
– You got one? – Get the net, get the net!
– Oh my God! Here we go, here we go! – OK, OK!
– Here. Here. Oh, yes! – Yeah, baby! All right, all right, all right. OK, look it, look it, look it, hold the net, hold the net.
– Yes, he’s a beauty, isn’t he? – Oh my God, such a beauty. – I hope you like butter, my friend, ’cause
you’re gonna be swimming in it at the banquet tonight. – We’re on our way now. – Onward ho, boys. Do as I do.

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