Superhero Vacation | Rudy Mancuso, Anwar Jibawi & Jimmy Tatro
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Superhero Vacation | Rudy Mancuso, Anwar Jibawi & Jimmy Tatro


WONDER WOMAN: Mom,
honestly you’re so annoying— SUPERMAN: She’s so hot, who is this? BATMAN: She’s so—oh my god. EY! Dude! I’m w— FLASH: Guys. (chatter) Can I get your attention real quick? B: If I double-tap now,
I look like a creep. S: I won’t double-tap. I’m just
saying, go down, go down— F: Excuse me, guys— B: OH MY GOD. S: (chuckle) Wha-what, what? B: Oh, f*ck, dude.
F: Batman. S: I didn’t double-tap, relax.
B You double-tapped! S: Relax! I didn’t, I didn’t.
B: Oh my— S: Just unlike it.
B: Yeah but it will still show up! She’ll still get the notification. F: GUYS! B: Yeah. F: So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.
And we’ve been working really hard. B: Oh we’ve been working SO hard. Yeah.
S: We have been working hard. W: On what?
B: I’m exhausted. B&S: What do you mean, what? W: What have we been
working so hard on? I just would LOVE to know. S: I’ve seen, like, three
girls last night. W: From what, getting too drunk? B: No, from, from the—
S: Yes, actually. B: From the club!
And crowded, and— S: We saved them, that’s
all you gotta know. B: Hey, wanna do some push-ups? S: Yeah.
B: Let’s do some push-ups. W: Are you guys gonna— W: (sarcasm) Oh, look at me, I’m doing
push-ups, I’m so strong, ohhhh. You guys look pathetic, okay? S: Shut up. B: Okay, you’re just mad we’re
way more jacked than you. W: Please! I’ll beat the shit out of
all three of you at the same time. B: Oh? You’ll beat the shit out of— B: STOP! Don’t do—god!
W: You’re a little wuss. F: Like I was saying! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, I think we could all use a day
at the beach. What do you say? B: Yeah, no. S: That sounds awful. W: Stupid idea. B: I’m wearing all-black, dude. W: Stupidest idea
I’ve ever—I’m not— B: Look at me bro, I’m wearing
all-black! You know how hot I get? F: Hold on! F: What did you say? B: What, you about to go
run a marathon right now? S: Yeah, come on, bro. W: You look so stupid. F: We’re ready! Let’s go!
W: He looks like a tourist! S: You look like…
a soccer mom. F: Guys, we never do
anything together! B: I am not! If you—
W: Nope. Not going. B: Especially if you’re wearing that. W: Yeah. That’s so embarrassing!
B: Not going, not doing it. (arguing) B: I have zero interest
in going to the beach. F: Please! S: Superheroes do
not go to the beach. Superheroes chill in the— B: This f*cking sucks, dude! S: This is the worst idea—
no, why do you do this? Why do we ever listen to Flash? B: I have no—
W: I’m freezing. F: Why are you guys
being so negative? (arguing) F: Why are you guys being so—
I’m going to go have some fun. Screw you guys! W: Have fun doing what? W: I’m going to the bathroom. You guys are all sh*t! S: This sucks, bro. Hate Flash. S: What’s wrong, you good? B: Yo, so on the DL— S: What? B: I kinda like Wonder Woman. S: (chuckles) You serious? Wonder Woman, bro? We live with her! B: I know! I wanna… snuggle… (embarrassed noises) S: Wait, so you like ‘like like’ her?
B: Yeah. S: What? B: I hate to say it, but you know, thinking about her just, gives me
like this weird feeling in my stomach, like when you’re on a roller
coaster and you’re going down, that’s how I feel right now. S: (sniffs) B: I just wanna, like, give her Eskimo kisses and, wanna rub sunscreen on her back. S: So you ‘like like’ her. B: I ‘like like’ her, man. S: Not like just smash real
quick, like Cat Woman— S: Like you ‘like like’ her?
B: No, no. B: I think I’m falling for her.
S: Oh. Wow. B: I was gonna, like,
write her a note. S: Write a note? What
are we, in second grade? No, just, I mean. I don’t know. B: I’m thinking about it too much. S: Just, when the time
is right, you tell her. B: I—just— S: Yo, yo, yo. Look at me.
B: Like what if— Look at me, bro. B: Like what if she
doesn’t like me? S: You’re Batman. B: (groans)
S: You’re Batman. S: You hear me?
B: Yeah. S: You’re Batman.
B: Yeah. S: This is a good thing, bro. B: Yeah. S: You’re good.
B: Yeah. I’m happy for you, bro. Good for you, man, good for you. B: ARGH!
S: Oh sh*t, sorry. Sorry, bro. B: (groans)
S: Sorry. F: This is fun, right? S: No, bro. Nothing fun about this. F: Just… enjoy the fresh air.
W: How is this fun? (shriek) HELP! W: (gasp) Wait! GIRL: HELP ME! W: It’s a girl, she’s in danger! S: Who cares, she’s fine.
B: Yep. It’s my day-off. She’s fine. W: No, no, no, look!
She’s actually kinda cute! B: (stretching)
S: Wait, really? B: What? W: Look!
S: Oh she’s hot. B: Oh wow.
S: It’s a hot girl! F: Oh, shoot.
S: I got this, I got this. W: Oh, oh. Now
you guys got this. GIRL: HELP! S: Don’t worry, ma’am.
I’m Superman, I got you. G: (relieved) Oh, thank god. S: I’m gonna save you, everything’s okay. G: Oh okay.
S: What happened, what happened? G: I don’t know, I don’t even
know how I ended up here but— S: That’s okay, that’s okay. G: My boyfriend left me! S: Wait your what? Your what? G: My boyfriend.
Went off to go get— S: Your what? Your WHAT? G: My boyfriend. S: You have a boyfriend? G: Yeah! S: Aight. Imma—
G: Can you help me, please? S: Imma need you to go
back down for a second— G: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? COME ON, MAN! S: You gotta shhhhh—you good— Batman, you wanna take this? B: Did someone say
hot girl’s in danger? G: What an asshole,
he just left me here. B: I got you, what’s going
on, what happened? G: Superman’s a dick! B: What happened, tell me ’bout it. G: I—I ended up here, and
then my boyfriend left me— B: Wait, hold on, your what? Run it back, your what? G: My boyfriend. B: You have a boyfriend? G: Yeah. G: YOU TOO? WHAT THE HELL! B: You’re good, you’re good,
you’re good. Hey, Flash! G: COME ON! F: Is everything okay? G: These assholes keep
leaving me like my boyfriend. F: What? G: These assholes keep
leaving me like my boyfriend! F: Boyfriend? G: Yeah! F: I thought we had a connection! G: What? What connection? (screams) AHHH! ARE YOU
F*CKING KIDDING ME? S: Well, that was a… (sniffs) That was an interesting— F: Fun.
S: Day. B: It sucked. F: Fun. It was fun. W: I’m so hungry.
S: Definitely wasn’t fun. F: You know what will
make it perfect? Truth or Dare. W: Are you kidding me? B: We gotta cut you
off from all ideas. S: Alright, fuck it, I’ll play. F: Thank you. S: Batman, truth or dare? B: Dare. S: I dare you to FaceTime
Robin and say I miss you, bro. F: (laughs) B: Bro, come on dude. S: You gotta do it,
you gotta do it! F: You have to do it.
S: This is fun. This is fun, this is fun. F: It’s calling.
S: Oh it’s calling, it’s calling. (dial sound) R: (excited) Hey
Batman! What’s up! B: Hey Robin. How you doin’ man.
R: Man! Oh! I didn’t see you
for a long time, man! R: What’s up, man!
B: Yep. Okay. Look, man. I… uh… just wanted
to call to say… W: (whispers) Shut up! B: I… miss working with you. R: And I miss you too, bro! I’m so happy you tell me that!
B: Yep. Okay. I don’t know… Batman Robin, Robin Bat—
B: Hold on, bye. (hangs up) F: Superman, truth or dare? S: Dare. F*ck it. F: I dare you to… do you best impression
of Wonder Woman. B: Oooh. S: What? W: Oh god, don’t make
him do this right now. S: What do you mean? F: Do your best impression.
S: I’m not going to— S: I’m not going to do an—
B: You gotta do it. W: Dumbest dare ever. F: We all did it, bro. B: I just FaceTimed
f*cking Robin! S: Oh! Oh! I’m Wonder Woman! B&F: (laughs) W: Why are you guys laughing?
That’s not even funny. S: I wish I was Superman, but I’m not! W: Can you CUT IT OUT! B&F: Oh! Oh no—
S: OW! W: That’s the stupidest things— (punch) B: Guys, guys, guys,
guys. Come on, come on. S: OW! F*ck!
W: Keep f*cking around. S: Alright, alright, alright— W: Keep making fun of me.
S: That’s enough, that’s enough! B: Guys, no powers in the house! W: I’m done. I’m going
to go get a drink. B: I’ll come—I’ll come with you! B: (sly) I’m gonna go with her. Oh yeah… What you doing over here… S: Okay. S: Bro, weird day— F: Can I tell you something? S: Yeah bro, what’s up? F: Can you keep a secret? S: Yeah. F: (deep sigh) I like Wonder Woman. I’m… actually… in love with her. S: Uhhhh. F: I think she’s the most beautiful thing on Earth.
S: No. Flash. S: Flash, Flash. F: I don’t know what
it is but I just— S: Yeah okay, I understand,
bro, but you uh… B&W: (happy chatter) W: What do you guys wanna do? F&B: (awkward laughter) S: Um… yeah… B: (blows out) W: Why are you guys
acting so weird? F: What? What? S: We’re all—we’re good. F: (sighs) Wonder Woman— W: What is it?
F: I have something to say. B: Flash. I’ve been, uh…
S: Flash, relax. F: You know? Uh— B: Hang on, I got this. I actually
have something— F: Can I go first? B: that I gotta say. F: No! Let me—
B: Let me go first. S: Guys, guys, guys.
B: Wonder Woman… F&B: I like you. S: Oh… sh*t.
W: What? B: What did you say? F: I said I like her,
what did you say? B: I said I like her,
what did YOU say? F: I said I liked her, what did you say? W&S: Guys, guys, stop. Stop! W: Can I say something, please?
S: Relax, relax. Before this continues?
S: Relax, relax. S: Relax, bro. W: I have a boyfriend. S: What? W: He’s actually on his way. (doorbell) (gasps) Oh! There he is! W: Hi, babe! R: Hey, babe!
W: (giggles) R: (laughs) R: OH! WHADDUP GUYS?! B: Sh*t.

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