– The best of the best,
this is the roast battle. – Italians show love
by roasting each other. I held back, because I think
that you and me can, can, can, you know what I’m saying?
– [Group] Ooohhhhh! – Ooohh, listen, not in here,
not in here, not in here. Safe zone, safe zone. – Safe zone. – Sorry guys, sorry about my friend. This is the Roast Battle. Yeah, buddy. (club music) – Yeah, they probably are
happy to be with their kids. – [Pauly D] They’re happy with their kids, but not happy about the weather, man. – Yeah. – Well, you know, you can’t
have your cake and eat it, too, unless you’re Mike. (laughter) – Alright, bro, come at me, bro. – Let the roasting begin. – You are fake news. – Wait, what does fake news mean? – That means, like, whatever comes out of your mouth is suspect. – [Group] Ohhhh! (yelling) – We’re so stupid. – We made it so much worse when we’re dancing around like fools. – Wait, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Are you talking about suspect? It takes a suspect to
know a suspect, huh, Mike? – [Group] Ohhhhh! – Right from the get,
he went for the throat. Because I was like, oh,
he’s going there already. Oh, I have to think of
some good (bleep) now. (laughter) Yeah, yeah, exactly. I would think of a day or two straight of like three, four jokes in a row. – Write them down. – Yeah, and in my brain I’d be like, oh, which one do I want to say first, because I had like four ready. Ronnie right now wants
to stop at the gift shop and get a bumper sticker that says I love to cheat on my baby moms. – [Group] Ohhhhh! – [Pauly D] (bleep) Well, this one got a little–
– This one got serious. – This one got a little hairy, though. This is why I don’t like roasts sometimes. They be getting too serious. – The only thing I seen
you do good in this house is destroy toilets and
destroy your relationships. – [Group] Ohhhhhh! – [Pauly D] Damn! – It’s like your two little sons that are just non-stop in public. – Ron, stop. – [Group] Ohhhh! – Mic drop, mic drop, mic drop! – He just went (clap)
bashed their heads together. – Yo, when you look at Mike’s passport, oh, that’s right, you can’t,
’cause he doesn’t have one. – [Group] Ohhhhh!
(bleep) – You guys literally went at it every day. – I told you don’t come for me. – Oh, (bleep), you better say that in jail when you drop the soap. – [Group] Ohhhh! – Another drop the soap joke! – Holy (bleep). – It was a little uncomfortable
in this roast, this one. – No, that was the longest hallway ever. (laughter) – That was our last one. – I didn’t want to amp it
up anymore, so I didn’t. – Mike got love handles
now for (bleep)ing Bubba. (laughter) – Oh my God! – They’re taking it below the belt. Some of the things that they’re saying, I’m just like holy (bleep). These boys are going to kill each other. – Mike’s been waiting for this day, Mike’s been waiting for this moment. – Because he can finally put a sentence together, that’s why. – [Group] Ohhhhh! – Get me to school, I’ve got my backpack. – Fire in the hole! (gun shot noise) – Please, please. Similar to that clogged toilet upstairs, you’re full of (bleep). – [Group] Ohhhh! (yelling) – Mike, you’re not supposed
to hype up your own things. (laughter) – I’m going to school,
waiting for the bus. – Wait, Mike, where’s the bus stop? Because didn’t they take over your cars? – [Group] Ohhhhh! – Knock out! My man Ronnie takes the win. Oh, oh damn! Oh damn! Oh damn! – I’m telling you, one of these days, this roast is going to get serious and these two are going to fight. – We probably shouldn’t do this. (laughter) – What you don’t know is they
actually do hate each other. No, I’m kidding.
(laughter) – [Mike] No, no, no. – Alright, so now that Miami’s over, who won the Roast Battle officially? – Hey, this guy was born for that (bleep). I think he went to school for it. – Ronnie’s ruthless, but I got
to give it to Mike, because– – No, Mike had some good ones. – No, no–
– Oh, no question. – Mike was able to
roast in a positive way, where you still liked him. That’s kind of like an art,
there’s an art to that. – You saying you didn’t like me after? – Well no, I was like Ronnie’s a dick. (laughter) – If you ask me, I think it was a draw, but here’s some never before seen footage of everyone else roasting each other. Check this out. (club music) – I love Sunday dinners! – [Group] Yeah! – Oh yeah. – [Mike] That was a nice toast. – Oh yeah, toast shift,
(bleep) toast like rich! (laughter) – [JWoww] Oh my God, that’s
how I felt last night. – Did you (bleep) yet? – No.
– This is going to hurt you. – [Mike] She’s definitely going to. – When would Jenny have time to (bleep)? She’s too busy sleeping. – Ohhh! Okay. – Somebody’s starting! It’s already starting! Round one, fight! Mike, your turn. – What am I doing? – You have to give an insult to somebody. You have to insult somebody.
– Mike, you’re good. (laughter) – You have to say something not nice. – Guys, guys, I don’t
think Mike can do this. A task like that is
way too taxing for him. – [Group] Ohhhhh! – Damn, that one went low! – Low! – [Pauly D] Low blow, son! – Ron, are you still trying to deny that you put the Big
Mac on the french fry? – [Group] Ohhhhh! – Hey, got him! – Say something about me. – Are you smiling, crying, or laughing? I can’t tell. – [Group] Ohhh! – I can never tell anymore. – I’m dead inside like your girlfriend is after she has sex with you. – [Group] Ohhhhh!
– Jenny brought the heat! – You’re like super creepy. – Ohhhh, there we go. – Wow, wow.
– You know what? You don’t want this. – I’m fine. – No, you are your girl
have to be like creepy. – [Group] Ohhhhh! – Why bring my girl into this, huh? – [Group] Ohhhh. – At least we don’t use condoms. – At least we’re clean. – [Group] Ohhhh! – Can he, can he, can he! You made porn stars!