When Your Friend Hates Camping • Barguments, Ep. 2
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When Your Friend Hates Camping • Barguments, Ep. 2

– I don’t like having
to swat away mosquitoes, or landing in… – You know what I gotta
say about that (fart). (laughs) – Colin (laughs). – Last episode, was won by Jordan. Flip cup apparently is the
greatest game of all time. – So we’re back, and this
time we’re here because Colin and Ryan had an argument about camping. We’re going to camp tonight,
do some activities, and listen to their arguments, in the morning. (beep) – This is all great, but we
still have to go to sleep here tonight. – We’ll see if I wake up. – [Jordan] Ryan.
– [Colin] Ryan. – Good morning, we just camped last night. – Yeah there was also something
lurking around our tent. – I’m not sure what the hell that was. – There was nothing lurking
around your tent Ryan. – No, there was definitely footsteps. – To decide who’s going to, get to share their argument first. We’re going to play a
game of spin the bottle. I’m going to spin it, whoever
it lands on, gets to go first. – Oh that’s pointed at Ryan. – Ryan. – Alright. – Ryan’s gonna to go first.
(clapping) – Oh fuck me. – It’s just a bee, Ryan. – Alright let’s make this quick,
I hate camping here’s why. – First off, I love my
free time, so why would I want to spend a free night
laying on the ground, getting tagged by mosquitoes,
cold and shivering in a sleeping bag like a
child at a slumber party. Oh and not to mention the
next morning, when I wake up in a pool of my own sweat
because the sun decided it was time for me to get up. – Ryan, these are all arguments
for you sucking at camping. – Look I get it, you
want to embrace nature, you know live in the elements, whatever. Okay, but if that’s the
case, why are you sleeping in something that’s so
pathetically trying to be a house. I mean let’s be honest, a house
is way better, I mean it has air conditioning, I can shower,
sleep in a nice comfy bed. And when I wake up in the middle
of the night to take a pee. I don’t have to worry about
dying which by the way any activity where your trying to not die. Half the time your doing
it, is not a good activity. – Okay I don’t understand,
why are you going to die when you take a pee? – Some crazy mountain man
or some radioactive dude comes up and tries to stab
me or some dude with a knife. – You’ve watched way too many movies. – Here’s the thing, there’s
limitless possibilities of things that could happen to me. Which also brings me to my next point. Bears. And yes I know that bears are
historically not that violent towards humans, but here’s the
thing, bears don’t know that. If you come face to face
with a bear, are you really going to put your life on the
line because you think a bear is educated on bear facts. More then likely, I think
your going to be, holy shit. – That, is one of the best moments, I’ve seen in any video we’ve made. – Why don’t you spend a few
extra bucks on a place where you can run into an eight
foot killing machine. Which reminds me, camping
is also expensive as hell for no reason. Look, I don’t think I
need to say much more. – We spent 20 dollars on
this campsite last night. – If you like camping still, great do you. Just know, that by loving
camping you’re kinda setting us back a couple centuries from
an evolutionary standpoint. And that’s fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m
gonna take a nap, in my bed, in air conditioning. Good day sir. – Fucking yuppie. – (groans) Man I’m jealous
of my past self taking a nap. – Kudos to you past Ryan,
your doing it right. – I think it’s Colin’s turn now. We’ll see what Colin has to say. – Alright (clears throat). – Who the fuck, in that
outfit it’s ridiculous. – So you don’t like camping, fine. But I find that offensive. Saying you don’t like camping,
is like saying you don’t like food or music or stories
it’s just way too broad. And frankly, it makes
you sound kinda stupid. There’s a thousand ways
to sleep under the stars, and yes that’s reason number
one that camping rules. (whip snaps) Okay obviously the proximity
to nature thing is great. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. And yeah you can camp
next to a fucking iceberg, this guy did it in Iceland. Have you ever cooked dinner
in the woods? It’s great. Look how much fun these guys are having. Let’s not forget about
campfires, you can drink whatever you want, your not going anywhere. Building campfires is great. Sitting at campfires is great. And s’mores. People have been sitting around
campfires telling stories since the dawn of time. Why? It’s a lot of fun Ryan,
and even the shittiest songs are fun to sing around a campfire. – Alright, I call bullshit on that one. Every camp I’ve ever been
in, in my entire life, there’s always one doing the
acoustic guitar, and he sucks. – I’ll give him that,
that guy is annoying. – Your right, that guys
a pain in the ass and if that guy is watching at home. He should… – Stop being that guy. – Stop being that guy.
(laughs) You know what you need
for a campfire, wood. Look at this old dude, he’s
like a 100 years old and he’s still whacking away. (laughs) Then the embers die
down, and you go to bed, and you get to wake up to the sunrise. It’s the best feeling in the world. (whip snaps) You know why it rules? Because
you get to go to the swimming hole or a cave or the top of
a mountain tomorrow morning. And Hot Springs. Hot springs, Ryan. They’re like God’s Jacuzzi’s. (whip snaps twice) Hey, maybe you just want to
sit around camp, and get deep with an old friend. That’s fine, you do you. And here’s another thing,
this shit is cheap, (whip snaps) 25 bucks and you get a
million dollar ocean view. Check out this spot,
I was in last weekend. You don’t have to be a full
blown gear nut like me. All you really need is, a
sleeping bag, a bad of trail mix, and a pair of sneakers. – Alright, we all know that’s bullshit. – You kinda need a little
bit more then that Colin. – You kinda need, a lot of equipment. If I went camping with just
those three things, I’d be dead by next morning. – Everything else is optional. (whistles) – Why did you have to
subject us to old man butt? – Did I mention that outdoor
sex is about the greatest thing there is? You can
be as loud as you want. (moans) And there’s literally no
one around to hear you. (whip snaps) A campsite, is probably one of
the only places in the world where men and women can be
as uncivilized as they like, and still get laid. But I don’t want to get gross
and dirty and covered in bugs. Glamping is perfectly alright. Who wouldn’t want to
sleep in a feather bed – Alright. in the wilderness? This is total bullshit here,
glamping does not count. – Maybe you just want to
spend some time alone and then you get the best thing
nature offers, pure silence. But let’s get real for
a moment, most of us are going to go camping
with our friends and family. And that’s more then just a shared hobby. When you venture into the
wilderness with people, your telling them that you truly, deeply want to enjoy their company. And there aren’t very many
place left, where you can find that kind of honesty. And let me ask you something
Ryan, are you having fun right now, are ya? (whip snaps twice) – Are ya? – Not really (laughs uncomfortably). – So to sum up, Ryan
hates camping because it’s uncomfortable, nature is too
dangerous, and it’s not fun, and it’s expensive. We’re not in exactly, the most
glamorous spot right here. We’re in the middle of the
desert, who knows who’s out here or what’s out here. – Your a lunatic, it’s beautiful out here. – On the other side of
things, Colin enjoys camping for many reasons, mostly
that it connects you to those around you, nature is
beautiful, it’s inexpensive, and it’s a cool way to spend your time. – And have sex. – And have sex, well
spend your time, have sex, it’s all the same, right? – Because you can’t have sex at home. – I think you both make
very good points, I’m not going to make the decision as to who wins. We’re going to again, leave
it up to our audience. Please vote, let us know
who you think won, and we’ll let you know next time. – Humans evolved, so they
could live better, that’s how we survived. Holy shit that guys… – Carter! – a speed demon. – Carter, hi. – See if I was Carter,
I would dig camping.


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